But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
