A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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