I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The beer is more important than you right now.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
