That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
