i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
