so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Hippo gnu deer
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
