Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
