Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
