I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
