So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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