Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
