i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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