did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize