Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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