god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
