After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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