plz talk dirty to me
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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