Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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