he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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