Did you just see the Batmobile???
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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