U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
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