I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
