love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
