you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
