please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
