If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
