just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
