your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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