It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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