the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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