Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
