He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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