That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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