I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Lo siento on account of my penis...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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