Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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