Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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