right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
