maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
