I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
