You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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