also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
