There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
