I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
