you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
