Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
