We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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