Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.