No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together