I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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