So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
