your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
