Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
