I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
