He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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