Quick, to the slutcave!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
