you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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