is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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