you would pick up someone in the library
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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