i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
