Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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