You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
