Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
